{"id":1130,"date":"2007-12-20T09:56:37","date_gmt":"2007-12-20T08:56:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/2007\/12\/20\/proper-installation-of-xmas-tree\/"},"modified":"2008-02-25T21:26:59","modified_gmt":"2008-02-25T20:26:59","slug":"proper-installation-of-xmas-tree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/2007\/12\/20\/proper-installation-of-xmas-tree\/","title":{"rendered":"Proper installation of xmas-tree"},"content":{"rendered":"

US engineers have issued a drawing in which proper installation of Christmas-tree, fireplace ornaments and other important constructions are set forth. Even though I do not understand everything, I feel it important to spread this drawing, as it will ensure better implementation of Christmas also here in Norway. Please find proper ways to convert<\/a> silly American measuring into sensible European measuring.<\/p>\n

I will present item by item in the drawing, to simplify for a Norwegian audience. Please click on images to enlarge. Enclosed also the drawing in its entirety. Should you have questions, I suggest you direct them to an engineer of your choice. If you do not have access to one, you could try asking Goodwill<\/a>, who is an excellent engineer and might understand the details better. I will work on calculating the cost.<\/p>\n

The tree: <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"tree.jpg\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The fireplace:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"fireplace.jpg\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Proper placement of tree on floor:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"treeplan.jpg\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Rooftop installation:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"hustak.jpg\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Structural notes:<\/h2>\n

General:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. All trees over 6’0″ (1,83 meters) shall comply with the 1998 edition of UBC, CBC, UMC, UPC, all ADA compliance standards, and all restrictions put forth in the project EIR.<\/li>\n
  2. Loads:
    \nWind load= [90 mph] basic wind speed exposure C
    \nSeismic load= Zone 4 within 2 km of seismic source B fault<\/li>\n
  3. This project requires a class “B” liscence<\/li>\n
  4. Christmas tree sprayed with flame retardant, then scented with pine aerosol to hide foul stench of flame retardant.<\/li>\n
  5. Extensive seismic studies to be carried out by the contractor to ensure that tree is placed in a geologically secure area.<\/li>\n
  6. Installation of this project does not guarantee personal joy, merriment, or other typical emotional feelings of the holidays.<\/li>\n
  7. Use of alcoholic beverages may increase overall merriment but should not be consumed until tree is installed and electrical items plugged in.<\/li>\n
  8. No duct tape without prior approval by professional elf.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Metal:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Only 8d nails are to be used<\/li>\n
    2. All metal braces and clips to be Simpson brand og approved equal and to be inspected by certified P.E. (professional elf)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Concrete:<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. If concrete is being used then you’ve done something wrong.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Mitigation notes:<\/h2>\n
          \n
        1. Cut tree shall be replaced by native species at 4:1 ratio within 50 feet of original cut tree<\/li>\n
        2. Monthly monitoring report to be submitted to ensure a min. 50% survival rate by following holiday.<\/li>\n
        3. Monitoring report shall include partridge survey results.<\/li>\n
        4. No elves are to be harmed during tree removal, tree construction, and tree rehabilitation.<\/li>\n
        5. Contractor to submit reindeer excrement management plan<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          \"wholedrawing.jpg\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

          US engineers have issued a drawing in which proper installation of Christmas-tree, fireplace ornaments and other important constructions are set forth. Even though I do not understand everything, I feel it important to spread this drawing, as it will ensure better implementation of Christmas also here in Norway. Please find proper ways to convert silly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":29,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[104],"class_list":["post-1130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-jul"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/29"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1130\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iskwew.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}